


Take On Me

by Vicky_Strife



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse)
Genre: 80's Music, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blow Jobs in a Car, Bottom Cable, Bottom Nathan Summers, Bottom Wade Wilson, Dirty Talk, First Kiss, First Time, Grief/Mourning, Inappropriate Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Pole Dancing, Post-Deadpool 2 (2018), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Praise Kink, Spanking, Switching, Telekinesis, Telepathy, pls Ryan don't read this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-05-14 12:52:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14769998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vicky_Strife/pseuds/Vicky_Strife
Summary: Cable freed his mouth and took a step back.“Take your mask off. I wanna see you.”Wade’s mind did its best imitation of the Windows XP error sound, and all its currently opened tabs froze.“What?” he breathed out, several seconds too late.“You don’t have to hide anything from me. Besides, I’ve already seen you without it.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I _had_ to use this title.
> 
>  **Edit 05/28/2018** : due to overwhelming demand, this fic will have multiple chapters so make sure to subscribe :D Thank you so much for all your enthusiastic comments, I read every single one of them like this:  
> 
> 
> (Psst kudos and comments remain v e r y appreciated. They won't save the bees but they will save me.)

Wade was tossing and turning in his bed, getting all wrapped up in the sheets like a slender, sweaty, sad burrito.

He couldn’t stop thinking and he had tried _everything_ in his repertoire. Even his last resort – watching Netflix’s Cosmos – hadn’t worked out.

Now, being insomniac wasn’t exactly a new thing for Deadpool: yeah, being tortured for two years straight will do that to ya. So will losing the love of your life. And so will having ADHD in general.

But this- this was a whole new type of insomnia.

And the cause of it? A surprisingly short, caring and smooth-looking cyborg from the future.

Why did the fucker waste his last shot at seeing his family again to go back in time and save his third-degree-burnt sorry ass? A complete mystery, just like Venus’ retrograde rotation and shit, he _did_ pay attention to Cosmos.

He forced his eyes shut. But his sadistic brain kept focusing on Cable’s “so what’s it gonna be, handsome?” line, playing in his mind on repeat like it’s the new rickroll.

 _Handsome_.

Ha! Had he even _looked_ at him? He had the mask off, for fuck’s sake!

Oh. Or maybe it was just a cruel, disguised insult, like a box of cookies containing only your grandma’s sewing kit.

Wade stood up and put his suit on. He needed answers and he sure as hell would get them.

***

He crossed the perfectly green and cut lawn of the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, where Cable had been offered a room now that he was stuck in glorious year 2018, and started climbing a vine against the eastern facade.

The total absence of any alarm system was, well, alarming. He should definitely talk to Colossus about it.

He tiptoed past a lot of windows until he finally caught a glimpse of Cable’s metal arm, resting over Cable’s very naked torso.

Deadpool remembered to breathe and opened the window before jumping inside.

The cyborg seemed fast asleep. Wade walked towards him and froze. The moonlight was shining on the metal that devoured most of his left side and damn, what in the ass was _that_. It looked like it was actually part of him, not unlike... cancer.

He yelped as a powerful hand suddenly closed around his throat and pushed him against the opposite wall, or should he say _into_ because he totally felt splinters of wood pierce his back.

“... Deadpool? What the fuck d’you want? It’s...”

Cable blinked and looked at the digital clock on his bedside table- _ha! It rhymes_.

“... 3:46 am.”

Wade tapped at the bionic arm so that it would stop crushing his windpipe and replied in a croaked voice:

“Well, I couldn’t sleep so-”

“You thought you had to inflict that on others?” Cable said, hands resting on his hips in a disapproving but sexy way.

“Hey, pump the judgmental brakes, Thanos!”

“Who the hell is Thanos?”

“Wow, are you sure you are unrelated to Bucky?”

Cable furrowed his brow, completely lost and increasingly aggravated. He looked tired, which was understandable since he had just been woken up by a masked guy at an ungodly hour, but also... sad and lonely.

Deadpool sighed.

“Okay, big guy, guess I owe you at least that. I couldn’t sleep because I can’t wrap my head around the fact that you sacrificed a future with your family to save me. _Me_! Also, like, did you call me handsome for real the other day or was it just an hallucination? I have a hard time discerning fiction from reality sometimes, it’s one of the many mental disorders the writers gave me to entertain the public.”

He winced under his mask when he heard the second question stumble out of his mouth, unprompted.

Cable stared at him, his left eye glowing gold in the darkness of the room.

“I don’t know. And yes I did,” he answered in the most sincere manner.

Wade lost his shit.

"You dON’T KNOW?! DID EL METAL CANCER INFECT YOUR FUCKING LEFT HEMISPH-“

Cable’s flesh hand clasped his mouth.

"Jesus, for once in your life, shut up! You’re gonna wake up the whole building."

He raised his metal arm and the lights came on. Telekinesis? Interesting.

But also dangerous. Wade could now see him in full disclosure and holy moly, did his body scream daddy kink.

Cable freed his mouth and took a step back.

“Take your mask off. I wanna see you.”

Wade’s mind did its best imitation of the Windows XP error sound, and all its currently opened tabs froze.

“What?” he breathed out, several seconds too late.

“You don’t have to hide anything from me. Besides, I’ve already seen you without it.”

For some reason, Careless Whisper began to play and Wade’s fight or flight response kicked in. For the first time in forever, the second one prevailed.

“Shit, I think I left the stove on! Smell ya later!”

Cable blocked his sprint towards the window effortlessly.

“You fast, sturdy son of a bitch!” Wade cursed, trying to break free from the older man’s iron – _haha_ – grip.

He head-butted Cable hard enough for him to let go and resumed his sprint, but a strong shin tackled him before he could reach it.

His face became violently intimate with the luxurious parquet.

Cable rolled him on his back and straddled him, long strands of salt-and-pepper hair falling before his eyes.

 _Not now, boner_! Wade thought, picturing Mama June’s pants after a long ride through Walmart to cool down.

“Take off your mask. Please,” Cable said.

“I feel like I should be the one pleading considering my position, don’t you think?”

“Wade.”

Hearing him pronounce his name sent a shiver down his spine.

“Dammit! Alright, say hello to Freddy Krueger.”

He took off his mask and threw it away. Cable lightly ran his flesh fingers along his face, stopping at the corner of his lips.

“You are handsome,” he said, his warm brown eyes locked on Wade’s.

“ _Please_ ," the mercenary laughed nervously, "only Vanessa thought that and she was already in love with me before I got these looks, so...”

 “I never lie,” Cable said. He gently unzipped his suit and bared his shoulders. Wade forgot to resist, but he did look away.

The older man stared at his scarred chest and neck, taking it all in like he was the eighth wonder of the world and not a human-avocado hybrid.

Cable stroked the ridges on Wade’s abs and the mercenary gasped; his skin usually felt numb since it was 99% scar tissue but Cable touched it with just the right amount of pressure so that he could feel, and he felt it _so. fucking. well_.

It was both pleasurable and uncomfortable, too much and not enough.

The intensity of the cyborg’s stare, of his touch, and his weight on his hips made Wade squirm.

Which in turn made his crotch press against Cable’s firm ass and well, even the Great Wall of China couldn’t hold back his boner now.

“Would you mind speeding things up a little bit?” Wade asked in a high-pitched voice.

“What a shame, I thought I had finally managed to render you speechless,” Cable replied cockily with a raised eyebrow.

 _Hot-hot-hot_.

“You wish! I’m gonna need more than just- ah!”

Cable had twisted both of his nipples at the same time, and ok, like, could he actually read his mind? Because it was right up his alley and he needed something up his alley ASAP.

“Fuck!” he muttered as his pecs tingled.

“Isn’t it what we’re doing?”

Unbelievable.

“Oh, don’t you fucking _dare_ smartass me, _I’m_ the smartass in this franchise!”

Cable laughed, and Wade felt the deep rumble of it in his belly, as well as a familiar heat blossoming in his chest.

 _You’re soooo screwed_ sang a voice in his head.

The cyborg stopped stroking Wade’s sides, both hands resting on his ribcage. “What do you want? We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

“Are you kidding? You’re planning on leaving me with blue balls? I want you to fold me like a pretzel and fuck me into oblivion, you dumb fuck.”

He didn’t need to repeat himself: Cable immediately kissed him, _hard_ , teeth scraping over teeth and tongues tasting each other.

Wade made himself a mental note to ask him later exactly what kind of chapstick he used because those lips were softer than- shit, he was so gone he couldn’t even come up with a witty comparison. Historical day, fellas, mark the date.

He slid his hands down Cable’s back and under his boxer briefs to palm at his plump ass.

"Fuck, I wanna knead that like Gordon Ramsay’s judging my performance."

"Then do it."

Wade groaned in appreciation and kissed Cable’s jaw, pulling him down until he was almost lying over him and forced to hold himself upright with his forearms.

When touching and kissing weren’t enough anymore, Cable lifted Wade in his arms as if he weighed nothing and laid him on the bed. He fumbled with his red spandex trousers for a minute before he found a way to pull them off.

He just stood there, staring at Wade’s crotch, his face unreadable. Total dick move, no pun intended.

“Told ya, Halloween is celebrated _everywhere_ ,” Wade joked nervously.

His anxiety made Cable snap out of his trance and mutter an apology; he pushed his legs apart and licked Wade’s inner thigh, _reverently_ , which totally didn’t make the mercenary blush like a virgin.

“Jesus, I’m all for the sweet, slow love-making fun but I haven’t been laid in too long and I need a cock in me right now, big guy!”

“Patience really isn’t one of your virtues.”

“The joke’s on you, I have none.”

Cable chuckled before getting up and walking to the kitchen. “Keep telling yourself that, princess.”

“I was too busy staring at your glorious butt in motion, what did you call me?” Wade grinned as he climbed back on the bed.

“You heard me.”

Cable opened a bottle of olive oil and poured a generous quantity on his _metal_ fingers. _Kinky, me likey_ , thought Wade.

The cyborg pushed his index inside him and Wade hissed at the cold contact. It felt alien but so much better than the strap-on.

“Tell me if it hurts,” Cable said in a husky voice.

“Jesus, just go for it like my ass is a couch and you lost your keys between the cushions,” Wade ordered.

Cable rolled his eyes at the picture before he obeyed. He pushed his finger deeper inside until he reached the knuckles and curled it a few times while Wade was jerking off, head thrown back.

“Fuck yes- shit, add another one, come on, I’m not made of glass.”

Cable did as he was told and batted Wade’s hand away so he could stroke his cock himself. The mercenary cursed and grasped the sheets. The metal fingers inside him felt almost searing hot now that they were rubbing against his prostate, stretching him wide open.

“Fuck, I won’t last long so insert your USB flash drive in my port, Cable!”

“Good God, do you ever shut up?” the cyborg complained.

Wade pulled Cable’s rock-hard dick out of his underwear and gave it a vicious pull, making him moan.

“Make me, old man!”

Cable finally snapped. Was it from annoyance and/or lust, Wade will never know, but he went full sex machine mode.

The cyborg grabbed the underside of Wade’s knees and pushed his legs up until they were touching his stomach. He positioned himself then, in one long thrust, slammed right into him.

In any other circumstances, Wade would have been ashamed of the sound that came out of his mouth but he was too busy screaming in ecstasy.

“Fuck, Wade, if Colossus breaks down the door it’s your fault,” Cable said through gritted teeth.

“Oooh, now that’s a threesome I’d kill for,” sighed Wade, already picturing it in his mind.

“What?”

“What?” Wade repeated innocently.

Cable shook his head, the ghost of a smile on his lips. Lips that the mercenary kissed again.

It all felt so good Wade almost felt guilty. And delirious, because he was being fucked senseless by two hundred pounds of taut muscles and whirring metal. But yeah. Should he have sex so little time after his fiancée’s death? No. Did he want to put an end to it? Also no. Vanessa could be fucking Elvis and Prince for all he knows so why should he hold back? She would understand. She would forgive him.

Cable sat back on his heels so he could hit Wade’s sweet spot with every thrust and the mercenary’s eyes rolled up to the back of his head. His mind went completely blank and he dug his nails into Cable’s thighs, gasping for air.

The cyborg mouthed at his right ankle, whispering words Wade couldn’t make out.

Until he could.

“Handsome,” he heard both through the blood rushing in his ears and inside his head.

Wade came as a long litany of graphic curses poured out of his mouth, painting his own belly with white stripes.

Cable continued to fuck him through his orgasm until Wade was nothing but a babbling mess of oversensitive flesh, then he pulled out and came over his already stained stomach with a grunt.

The older man let himself fall next to the mercenary, making the apparently toughest bed in the world creak one last time.

“Wow,” said Wade a few moments later.

“Mmh-mmh,” replied Cable.

They were panting and staring at the ceiling, lying on their back like two fucked-out starfish. Apart from their heavy breaths, the mansion was as quiet as a graveyard.

Wade was the first to regain energy – thanks healing factor – so he snuggled against Cable’s flesh side, slipping one leg between his. To his surprise, Cable wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him closer.

“I _knew_ you were a cuddler!” Wade exclaimed, delighted.

“Talk about this and I’ll kill you,” Cable threatened.

“Yeaaah, didn’t quite succeed the few times you tried.”

Cable glowered at him so Wade booped his nose.

“Fuck you, Wade.”

“Oh but you already did, big guy. I’m gonna clean up and take a piss, then what do you say we switch roles? I wanna spank that fat ass of yours so hard, you have no idea.” 

That actually brought a faint blush under Cable’s tanned skin and he groaned low in his throat.

“I say hurry the fuck up.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Chapter warning** : inappropriate use of "Toto - Africa".
> 
> ♥ HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE ♥

You see, the authors and the characters they write about often share the same fears.

In our case, I was worried that the second time wouldn’t be as perfect as the first one, and the author was worried that her second chapter wouldn’t be as good as the first one.

What if they had reached the peak of their performance? The tall, hard, _leaking_ peak of it?

Well, the answer is simple: they need to remember that the Himalaya is a mountain range, not one single mountain, and that the view is breathtaking from every summit.

I _know_ , right? How uncharacteristically deep of me!

“Who are you talking to?” asked Cable over his metal shoulder, concerned about the mercenary’s mental health, as he should be.

“Sorry, cupcake, I was talking to these naughty peepers,” Wade answered, gesturing towards the readers. “So, where were we? Oh _sí_.”

He slammed his hand down on Cable’s right buttock, making him cry out in surprise. Then he slapped it again, just because he could, before doing the same to the left one. He watched the lighter skin of Cable’s ass turn a beautiful tint of red and licked his lips.

A maniacal joy was bubbling in his throat, begging to be let out, and that called for drastic measures.

“ _I bless the raaains down in Aaaaaafricaaaaaaa_ ,” Wade sang out loud while smacking the cyborg’s butt in the rythm of Toto’s song. “Ow!” he yelped when Cable kicked him in the ribs like a fed-up, part-machine horse.

“Either fucking get your shit together or we are done,” he growled.

Wade gasped. “You used the “w” word! I love it, do it again!”

Cable needed a few seconds to understand.

“... We?”

“Good boy,” Wade cooed, spanking him hard as a reward.

The older man buried his face between his forearms, his moan muffled by the mattress.

Wade began massaging his rear, digging his fingertips deep into the firm flesh of it. The little sighs of relief Cable made were music to his ears, almost as good as Wham!’s even if _nothing_ will ever compare to George Michael’s voice, may he rest in peace.

Wade took his time to revel in the sight of Cable’s thick cock hanging between his – incredibly –muscular thighs, hard again and continuously dripping precum on the white sheets. “Something tells me you’re into this, muffin… Is there no kinky sex in the future?” the mercenary asked, alternating between harsh blows and feather-light caresses.

“Of course there is, dumbass, I just- ah! Never had this done… to me,” Cable muttered, embarrassed.

“Oooh, poor thing. I’m gonna be _very_ gentle to you, don’t worry. I will _gently_ pound into you while you feel the top of my thighs repeatedly hit your sore ass, okay?”

Cable swore under his breath before nodding eagerly.

The tip of his ears were scarlet.

Wade grabbed the bottle of olive oil standing on the bedside table and coated his fingers with it. He circled Cable’s fluttering hole a few times before pushing his index inside. The cyborg’s whole body tensed in response.

Wade waited for him to get used to his finger moving inside him, then, when he had relaxed enough, he added another one, carefully scissoring him open.

“Fuck! Wade… Please...”

“Who’s lacking patience now, huh?”

Cable’s answer was unintelligible, but the mercenary was positive there was an insult in it.

He removed his fingers and spread a little more of their makeshift lube on his dick. While Cable’s one was all delicious girth and veins, his was a tiny bit thinner, but longer.

And now was Lil’ DP’s chance to shine.

Wade aligned himself and penetrated Cable in a torturously slow thrust, although all he wanted to do was fuck him like a rabid dog on cocaine. But the older man was already shaking under him, both from pleasure and exhaustion, having been standing on all fours for so long.

So Wade spared him. He kinda owed him that, even if he hadn’t wanted to be saved, back at the orphanage. That memory awoke the one of Vanessa and Wade’s heart sank in his chest. _Shut up upper brain, now is not the time!_ he thought to himself, chasing these depressive thoughts far away to refocus on a whimpering Cable.

The mercenary tempted a few back and forths, hypnotized by the way the wires eating at the cyborg’s back immediately rippled like a silver sea, mimicking his real muscles.

It was one of the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Fuck, it’s like you were made in a computer... which, you _are_ \- well, pretty much _half_ of you is, but you know what I mean,” Wade said. “You’re all my turn-ons, beautifully brought together like the Fellowship of the Ring and-”

“Wade.”

“Sorry, I’m rambling again, am I?”

“Yeah. But I was about to tell you to fuck me harder.”

This went straight to Wade’s cock.

“Well then, ladies and gentlemen, keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times and enjoy the ride,” the mercenary announced gleefully on a non-existent microphone.

Cable barely had the time to roll his eyes that Wade started to ram into him in earnest, just the way he described earlier, bottoming out with each thrust. The cyborg grunted and grasped the sheets so hard he tore them, the sound of ripping fabric covered by the creaks of the bed. He winced every time Wade’s hips clacked against his abused ass with an obscene sound, growling low in his throat as his skin was on fire.

It looked absolutely _delicious_ and the mercenary cursed his healing factor for preventing him to feel something like this.

Wade grabbed Cable’s plump sides to direct his thrusts better, knowing he and the older man were getting close. “Now I know why we call these “love handles”,” he panted against Cable’s right ear as he pinched his flesh.

He reached under the cyborg’s belly to jerk him off and the latter came all over his fist with a strangled cry, clenching so hard around the mercenary’s cock that he followed soon after.

They collapsed on top of each other, breathless.

A few moments later, Wade slid out of Cable and leant over him to lick at the sweat pooling in the valley formed by his spine, making him shudder. “Man, you’re gonna kill me, enough,” Cable slurred lazily, already drifting off.

“No more sexy times for tonight, copy that. Sleep tight, cupcake,” Wade said as he kissed the top of his head before laying down next to him.

The cyborg had already fallen asleep when the mercenary was done tucking him in.

* * *

Loud thumps on the door woke Wade from his R-rated dreams with a jolt. Next to him, Cable’s metal arm activated with a whirring sound, a few seconds before his owner opened his eyes.

Interesting. And creepy.

The mercenary put on his pink Hello Kitty boxer briefs and went to open the door. A huge, disgruntled, Russian chrome man was staring down at him from the other side, arms crossed against his barrel-like chest.

“Cable, it’s for you!” Wade announced in a high-pitched voice after a comedic pause, already backing away.

Colossus grabbed his skull to pin him on the spot.

“As matter of fact, I came to talk to both of you. You were louder than two bears fighting last night and you disrupted the students’ sleep,” he said with his heavy Slav accent.

“ _Bears_ , seriously? Could you have used a _more_ stereotyped comparison?” Wade complained. “Do you put vodka instead of milk in your cereals for breakfast? Do you have a matryoshka sex doll in your X-closet?” He felt a warm hand land on his left shoulder and saw it belonged to Cable, who looked like he was actually repressing a laugh. Wade beamed with pride.

“I sincerely apologize. It won’t happen again,” the cyborg said solemnly.

 _Wait, WHAT?!_ thought Wade. Cable’s grip tightened on his shoulder, preventing him from making a scene in front of the metallic mutant.

“Thank you,” Colossus replied, eyeing the ruined sheets Cable was holding around his waist in a barely concealed disgust. “The Professor wants to talk to you, as soon as you... can.”

Cable agreed before talking about uninteresting, world-on-the-brink-of-extinction stuff that Wade didn’t listen to, so he just stared at him, his mind still stuck on the _it won’t happen again_.

Shit, the fucker did have a nice jawline. Wade was only human, so what if he was running a finger over his stubble? Give him a break.

“Ok, I think I should leave now,” Colossus said, frowning at the mercenary’s lovesick expression.

Cable remained unflappable. “Yeah, see you later.”

The X-Man walked away, his heavy steps making the old white men portraits tremble against the walls. His massive figure had hidden the students who were peeking at the scene from their room, each one of them displaying a different expression like a 30-feet-long human color chart. _Sleep deprivation, disgust, anger, curiosity, amusement_...

Cable and Wade waved awkwardly at them and fumbled to close the door.

“Hi, Wade!” said Yukio in her adorable baby voice, her head poking out of the doorframe under Negasonic’s one. Wade stuck his face out of the door just before Cable shut it to answer “hi, Yukio!” in the same tone.

Back in the room, the mercenary clapped his hands.

“Ok, big guy. Time to-”

Cable had discarded the sheets on the floor, now completely naked in the early afternoon sunshine, turning on the coffee pot and Wade at the same time.

“How _dare_ you distract me with your Greek-statuesque body, I’m trying to talk here!”

“What do you want to talk about?” Cable sighed. His whole body hurt. He leaned against the countertop and immediately regretted this decision when his sore ass touched the hard surface. Surprisingly, Wade made no lewd comment about his grimace.

“It won’t happen again?!” he recited in disbelief.

“Ah, that. I was only trying to appease Colossus.”

_Oh good, everything’s good then._

“Besides, we completely rushed... whatever this is,” Cable added, gesturing at the space between them. “Neither of us was ready.”

_Abort, abort, everything’s gone to shit!_

“What the _actual_ fuck, did you skip the part where we consensually agreed as responsible adults to fuck out our respective grief, post-fight adrenaline excess and mutual tension?!” Wade yelled.

Cable turned off the coffee pot and filled two cups with it. His calmness made the mercenary even more confused, as he handed him one of them.

“I know. I don’t regret it. I hope you don’t either. I just... It all happened so fast. In my timeline, I was holding my dead family in my arms _two days ago_. And I abandoned the hope of ever seeing them again _yesterday_. So pardon me if I need some time to adjust.”

Ok, the last sentence stung.

“No need to get all passive-aggressive, asshole! I will leave you aaall the time you need, because you know what? You’re not the only one in pain, I have my own wife to mourn since a stupid cyborg cockblocked me in the afterlife!”

“I _saved_ you!” Cable exclaimed, appalled.

“I wanted to die!!!” Wade screamed.

Silence dropped harder than the ratings of The Walking Dead.

Cable stared at Wade with something that looked too much like pity in his hazel eyes.

The mercenary could take being hit by a truck, shot multiple times and literally torn in half but he couldn’t take this.

He turned his back on Cable to retrieve all the parts of his suit scattered on the floor and jumped out of the window, breaking both of his knees on landing.

“Wade, no, wait!” he heard as he limped away as fast as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter is a bit shorter than the first one but I couldn’t cut it at a better point in the story, otherwise I wouldn’t have satisfied my sadistic tendencies.
> 
> Hope you still liked it, and that my English is still readable :') Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments, I didn't expect this fic to receive so much positive feedback ♥
> 
> Next chapter will be more from Cable’s POV.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **1)** Fun fact: ever since I wrote chapter 2, I keep hearing Toto – Africa play on the radio, in shops, on TV, _everywhere_... I’m cursed. I cursed myself with a goddamn spanking scene.
> 
>  **2)** I edited the previous chapters because they contained a LOT of typos. Bad, Vicky.  
>  I also noticed a plot hole in chapter 1, when I wrote about Vanessa’s “don’t’ fuck Colossus” line. Very bad, Vicky. Wade can’t possibly remember that because Cable prevented him from dying so it just never happened. So yeah, I corrected it, I suck, I’m so sorry. This is what happens when you write at 2am and have no beta.

Cable cursed as he watched Wade cross the lawn like a wounded animal, putting his suit on part after part and tripping multiple times because he didn’t care to slow down for it.

Already healed when he reached it, the mercenary jumped over the brick wall surrounding the School with significantly more agility than he displayed during his run and slid out of the cyborg’s sight.

Cable gripped the windowsill until his knuckles turned white.

_I wanted to die!!!_

He had felt the turmoil that swirled inside Wade’s mind then as if it were his own. The connection only lasted two seconds but it had been enough to severely threaten Cable’s already waning sanity before he had to break it.

Terror. Despair. Loneliness.

In its efforts to file them, Cable’s brain associated these external feelings with the time it had personally felt them: two calcined bodies curled on the floor, deformed beyond recognition.

The cyborg’s breathing hitched and his heart started beating painfully hard against his ribcage.

He acknowledged the panic attack for what it was and leaned against the wall, eyes closed.

A tear ran down his scarred cheek.

_Aliya... Hope..._

He counted the way he had been trained to, the way he counted before pulling the trigger or when the pain at the seams of his metal arm became unbearable. It calmed most of his trembling.

Then he opened his eyes and focused on the teddy bear sitting on his bedside table.

It was still immaculate. They were safe. They had to be.

He repeated himself that over and over again, until the fear and the stench of roasted human flesh eventually ebbed away.

The cyborg closed the window.

He should have stopped Wade. He could have, if he hadn’t tried to read Wade’s mind to see exactly why he was so upset, and if the sheer chaos of it hadn’t stunned him for so long.

He had never experienced anything like it; it felt like several minds fused into one, several voices talking over each other with an unhealthy dose of conflicting emotions sprinkled on top of it all.

Wade’s mind was a never-ending firework.

Cable went back to the kitchen to finish his cup of coffee, then he headed to the bathroom to take a much-needed shower.

He looked at his reflection in the fancy mirror and froze.

The virus had spread during the night, coming dangerously close to his left ear. He must have slept too soundly and in doing so, released his control over it.

The cyborg punched the mirror with his metal hand and the broken pieces of it fell in the sink like a silver rain.

* * *

 “There was a sad, disfigured man in the men’s restroom. He kept staring at me,” Wade said as he returned to his seat inside the Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Children.

_What’s with all these long names anyway?! Enough with the Fall Out Boy titles!_

“Yeah, I installed a mirror yesterday,” Weasel deadpanned.

 “Oh. So that’s why he wouldn’t blow me,” the mercenary muttered before he drained his tenth orgasm (the _cocktail_ , you pervs).

For a while, there were only the loud, masculine voices and laughter that usually reign in a bar late at night. But Wade soon grew tired of listening to the other mercs brag about their latest kill-slash-conquest. “ _Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit lonely, and you're never coming round...”_ he hummed while he was carving a unicorn head into the wooden counter with his nails.

One of them broke and bled profusely. Wade didn’t stop his drawing; it would be healed one minute later anyway.

Clearly done, Weasel sighed and laid down the glass he had been drying.

“Listen, man... are you gonna talk about why you’ve been creepily singing Total Eclipse of the Heart between sips for the past hour? I don’t really want to listen and I’m sure I will regret it, but as long as you’re paying for your drinks...” the barman said in his usual caustic honesty.

Suddenly, the mercenary clutched Weasel’s collar, pulling him close to his uncovered face and looking him right in the eye. “We took roles riding each other like two sex-crazed circus ponies-”

“I regret it already,” winced the barman, both from Wade’s words and general aspect.

“-and the asshole had the _nerve_ to throw me out like a shitty wet wipe!”

He let go of Weasel as fast as he had caught him, seemingly calming himself. “Well, technically I threw _myself_ out... but he made me!”

“Okayyy, and who is the “he” in your story?” Weasel asked, readjusting his green flannel shirt.

“Small, grumpy, glowing eye, metal arm, fat ass, thick thighs,” Wade listed.

“Jesus. I mean, not him, but, Jesus, you fucked _Cable_?!” Weasel exclaimed in disbelief. “The guy _tortured_ me!”

“Sure, if by “torturing” you mean “barely had anything to do except go all Bane on you before you spilled the beans”.”

“How could you possibly know that, you weren’t there,” Weasel pouted.

“Plot hole so the author could make a DC reference,” Wade explained.

“Fair enough.”

Weasel prepared another orgasm and handed it to Wade. “This one’s on me. Only this one. And it will be the last one because I’m out of Kahlua, because of you.”

A heartfelt “thanks, Weasel.”

Wade downed his drink and sniffled back some tears. “ _Fuck_ , my life is a shitshow. Lost the only two persons dumb enough to look past my everything and do me.”

 _Boo hoo, drama queen_! yelled a voice inside his head.

“Yeah, I get why no one’s standing in line... Are you sure your thing is over?” Weasel asked.

“He said he needed some time. Alone.”

“Ouch. That’s like, the nicest way of dumping someone.”

“I know, right? Like pushing someone off a plane with a parachute, but the parachute is defective.”

“Exactly. What about you boom-box some ridiculously romantic song outside his window?” the barman suggested.

“No, it can’t work every time. Besides, I did nothing wrong, for once, so he should be the one to boom-box me.” The innuendo of this sentence reminded him of the way Cable had stared at him from between his legs.

 _Worshipful_.

Wade threw some bills on the counter and stood up. “Good talk! You’re the best terrible friend I’ve ever had, I want you to know that.”

“Hum, are you actually drunk?” Weasel asked, squinting at him and the money.

“There aren’t enough orgasms in the world for this, no,” Wade replied somberly as he walked out of the bar, pulling the hood of his gray sweatshirt over his bald head.

* * *

Wade poured all his sadness and frustration into what he did best: slicing bad guys with katanas.

He jumped from job to job, earning more money in three weeks than he did in a whole year. He could have bought a new apartment, hell, even a duplex, but he stayed at Blind Al’s, because as pitiful as it sounds, he didn’t want to be alone.

And visiting his diverse family at the X-mansion was just too risky. It’s not like they called or visited him anyway, now that the movie was over.

So what if every night he jerked off in his single bed to the fantasy of Vanessa and Cable taking turns on his ass? He was coping, ok? And it took him _forever_ to get himself off because he was fucking _depressed_.

Yeah, apparently being stuck at the fourth stage of cancer wasn’t enough; he had to be stuck at the fourth stage of the Kuebler-Ross model too.

Sooner or later however, you have to kiss avoidance goodbye and deal with your problems.

Even if said problem is a heavily-armed Terminator one night stand that you didn’t leave on good terms.

 _Especially_ if said problem is a heavily-armed Terminator one night stand that you didn’t leave on good terms.

“Wade?!” Cable called as he bumped into the mercenary on the second floor of the bad guys den. Den that was a biological warfare facility in the middle of Who Gives a Shit, Nowhere. Floor that was cruelly narrow so they were basically standing chest to chest. “What are you doing here? I’m about to blow this place to hell,” he said as he released his grip on the Amazing Gun.

Wade decided to be petty, and he was _entitled_ _to_ because he successfully resisted his urge to punch Cable. In the mouth.

With his mouth.

“My dear ex-whatever, long time no see, as they say in badly-subbed anime. I was looking for a virus that could kill me and actually keep me dead, do you know if they have it in stock?”

Cable pursed his lips into a tight line and shifted his weight uncomfortably. Wade could see the cyborg’s thoughts race behind his eyes as he tried to determine if he was being serious. “I don’t think they have, but they are currently developing an enhanced dysentery bacteria that will wipe out half the world’s population in the near future.”

“Wow, who needs an infinity gauntlet when you can give infinity diarrhea, huh. _Fuck_ those evil masterminds though, they could have given us a _zombie_ _apocalypse_ instead of their lame Mexican food after effects! You could have been the Rick to my Michonne!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Suddenly, Cable whipped his head to the right and put himself in front of Wade, raising his metal arm. An orange force field appeared as two guards opened fire on them from the end of the corridor just two seconds later.

“I don’t need your protection, _papa_ ,” Wade hissed as he somersaulted over Cable and his futuristic shield to run at the attackers. “See how _easily_ I jumped over you? That’s because you’re short as shit in this universe!” he added for good measure before he unsheathed his katanas.

At least a dozen bullets hit him in the chest and, _ouch, my nipple!_ before he turned both guys into pizza-ready pepperoni.

“You goddamn idiot, just get out of here and let me finish my mission!” Cable growled, jogging to catch up with the mercenary.

As Tracey Thorn would say, Wade had missed his voice as the deserts miss the rain.

“Well _, my_ mission is to smash the skull of an accountant with his own glass ashtray and send a picture of it to his brother, because Mr. Numbers had a disgusting definition of “piggyback rides” with his 9 years-old niece!”

Cable winced as he followed Wade like his shadow. “Fine, we kill your guy then you help me plant the bombs,” he sighed.

“Love it when you talk dirty to m-”

Wade couldn’t finish his sentence because a .45 caliber bullet and four of its sisters hit him right in the head, his language center splattering against the white walls.

That would teach him not to get distracted anymore.

* * *

 When Wade came to his senses, the first thing he felt was a damp piece of clothing brushing against his face and some firm, warm flesh moving under it. There also was a hand gripping his thigh dangerously close to where his family jewels were. He sorted out all these sensations and came to a pleasing conclusion.

Cable was carrying him over his - right - shoulder.

Wade took advantage of the position by groping the cyborg’s ass with both hands, giggling like a child at Christmas. “100% Angus beef… ow!” he said as Cable dropped him abruptly.

“Good, you’re back. We’re in the administrative department so find your target. The barricade won’t last forever.”

Wade got back on his feet, a little dizzy because of the healing process and the fact that Cable had taken care of him during it. And judging from his appearance, it hadn’t been a walk in the park.

A few strands of the cyborg’s dark silver hair was cascading down his forehead, curling from the sweat, and there was a splash of blood across his jaw that certainly didn’t belong to him.

_On a 1 to 10 hot scale? 11._

“You gonna kiss me, Wade?” Cable teased, cracking a smile. 

 _Fuck_. Wade shook himself like a dog to stop gaping at him. “Fuck you and your ASMR voice!” he shouted before stomping away furiously. And he _was_ furious because this hot-and-cold behavior was _unfair_.

They really needed to complete their respective missions so they could get to the _fat_ bottom of the problem. _Problem that is Cable, remember? Haha, I’m so silly._

Wade kicked open every office door until he found the man he was looking for, not minding the screams of terror nor the alarm bell shrilling in his ears.

His target was cowering in the corner of his office, trembling from head to toe. “Please, I have money, don’t hurt me!” he sobbed as Wade approached him.

“Oooh, nooo, sorry, I can’t! Because I’m Deadpool: pedophiles executioner extraordinaire. And what kind of executioner would I be if I didn’t _hurt_ pedophiles?” Expecting an answer, he turned theatrically to Cable, who was guarding the exit.

“A shitty one,” the cyborg humored him as he stared down the white collar, looking meaner than ever.   

Wade felt butterflies in his stomach. It was the orphanage all over again.

“Exactly, partner, a. shitty. one.”

The mercenary grabbed the heavy glass ashtray that was laying on the desk and smashed the accountant’s face with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope Weasel was in character, I absolutely love this guy :)
> 
> About the Bane thing, I can't be the only one who thought Cable's speech was very similar to Bane's one in the Dark Knight Rises, right? "I was born into war, bred into it..." vs "I was born in it, molded by it". 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you still like this fic! You're so many to follow it, my French ass never thought it would be that successful. So thank you, you all deserve a cupcake.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what you’re all thinking. _God, I hope she put some hot action in this chapter._ Well, you probably won’t like the answer but- there is. I did. And I think it’s one of the best smut I’ve ever written.
> 
> So enjoy, but remember: Jesus is always watching.

“Is this really necessary?” Cable asked, frowning.

“Artists always sign their works,” Wade answered as he finished drawing a smiley face next to the accountant’s corpse with said accountant’s blood before taking a selfie with it.

Cable rolled his eyes.

“Job done, send money, skull emoji, poop emoji, “L”,” Wade said as he tapped rapidly on the screen, gloves off.

“You know that you don’t have to read your texts aloud, do you?”

“I only do that so you don’t think I’m cheating on you, cupcake,” the mercenary replied, blowing a kiss to a very aggravated Cable.

Whose mouth corners still turned upwards for a millisecond.

 _Huh_. _Promising._

Wade put his phone back in his pouch, retrieved his gloves and strolled out of the office, the cyborg right behind him. The employees looked at them walk by, pressed against each other in fear. “So, how do we burn Lame Umbrella Corporation to the ground?”

Cable projected a holographic map of the facility from his metal arm and pointed at six locations as they kept walking. “First, we need to burn the storage room that contains all the biological weapons, and then we plant a bomb in each of the six main pillars keeping the underground structure from collapsing on itself.” The portrait of three persons in white coats replaced the map. “We also have to make sure these scientists die; they’re responsible for the Project-“

“-Diarrhea, got it,” Wade interrupted him. “Your arm is _so_ cool, can you watch porn on it?”

“Jesus.” Cable turned off the orange hologram. “I’ll activate the decontamination emergency procedure while you take down the scientists. Kill anyone who stands in your way.”

“I _love_ your plan, I really do, but what about the animals?” Wade asked as they arrived at the barricade consisting in a pile of desks and chairs blocking the door. They could hear men shouting on the other side.

“The what?”

“The rats? Mice? Chimpanzees? Maybe even poorly-informed homeless people? You know, whatever or whoever they test their crap on?”

Cable reflected on it for a minute. “I’m afraid we can’t save them. Who knows what illness they carry... Even one of them could cause a dire epidemic once in the outside world.”

“Shame.”

Something started beeping quicker and quicker behind the barricade so Cable grabbed Wade by the belt to haul him into an adjacent deserted office, getting them both out of the way of the explosion. “I’m starting to think you _really_ care about me, big boy,” the mercenary said as he shot the first guard to show through the fog of dust and ashes.

Not gonna lie, he totally was into being manhandled so his voice sounded embarrassingly breathy.

“I don’t,” Cable grunted sharply, blasting away two guys at once as well as a huge section of the wall.

 _Conceal, don’t feel_.

“This gun is AMAZING. Can I try it? Pleaaaaase? Let me touch your big gun until it shoots a load!” Wade begged as they broke through the last guards and reached the elevator.

On their way to the lower level, Cable pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you even _hear_ yourself?”

“Sometimes.”

The elevator doors opened, revealing a wide range of assault rifles aiming at them. Cable immediately activated his shield and cursed when he saw Wade walk right out of the lift cage.

“Maximum effort,” the mercenary whispered before he jumped in the air and revolved murderous-rotisserie-chicken style to shoot the guards, baffling everyone in the room.

He landed gracefully on his feet as nine of their enemies hit the floor, dead. Cable snapped out of his amazement and killed the remaining soldiers as quickly as possible, knowing Wade was out of ammo.

He had only been counting because he didn’t want to carry his regenerating body again. That’s all.

“Did you notice me, senpai?” Wade asked not so jokingly while he was reloading his guns. He had a hole the size of a golf ball in his left shoulder and his right thigh was bleeding; both bullet wounds from a better skilled guard.

Cable felt a dark rage swell inside of him, even if the culprit had already died by his hands. _I should have been quicker_ , he thought. He had his metal arm and force field to protect himself, but Wade didn’t and he still felt pain, healing factor or not. Yet the _idiot_ jumped into fights head first. “I already told you, I don’t understand 90% of the shit that comes out of your mouth.”

“Ha, you’ll get used to it.”

“I don’t think I ever will, no,” Cable said as he watched Wade’s flesh reseal itself.

* * *

The mercenary and the cyborg ran to take cover behind the black SUV that Cable had “borrowed” to come to the facility, a few seconds before the latter blew up in flames, the detonation blowing sand and debris everywhere.

They peeked from behind the car, their ears ringing. Not a single soul in sight, just the ruins of the underground complex entrance and the boring desert of Nevada.

Cable opened the dusty SUV and let himself fall into the driver’s seat with a sigh. He secured his gun between the dashboard and windshield before looking at the mercenary. “You comin’?”

“It’s a shame to leave my sweet stolen ride here but hell yes,” Wade answered as he took off his back scabbard to sit in the passenger seat. He threw his katanas in the backseat and waved sadly at the Kawasaki Ninja that had crashed on its side because of the blast, twenty yards away from them. “Are you sure nobody escaped with a briefcase full of deadly vials, hinting at the plot of a hypothetical next movie?”

The cyborg grabbed some wires under the wheel with his metal arm and the engine started like magic. “Positive. As soon as I stepped into the building, I took control of their security system and locked every floor and elevator, unlocking them only when we needed to pass. They were all trapped.”

Wade’s cock twitched. “That’s cold. And hot as shit.”

Cable had a smile that looked more like a snarl, which didn’t help Wade’s arousal at all. _Oh_ , _Mama June, I call upon thee, help me_.

“Well, they knew everything about the enterprise’s activity and still accepted the job,” the cyborg shrugged. “That smoke’s gonna be seen from miles, we better go.” He pointed at several vehicles and helicopters on the horizon, tiny black dots slowly closing in. “The army is already on its way.”

“Then pedal to the metal, Furiosa.”

Cable obeyed; the SUV roared and surged forward, making the mercenary giggle in surprise. “Ho, ho, ho, where did you find this beauty?!”

“In the X-Mansion garage.”

“Oh, man, Colossus is gonna _pound_ you, and not in the fun way.” _Don’t picture the fun way, Deadpool. No! Bad Deadpool!_

“I’m not planning on returning there. I have things to do that the X-Men won’t approve of. Things that could jeopardize their fragile peace with non-mutants. I’d rather work on my own.”

Hearing Cable intended to leave brought Wade back into the harsh reality. The mercenary put his feet on the dashboard, legs crossed, and looked outside the window. “Well, today was fun so if you ever need help for morally questionable stuff, just hit me up,” he said with deceptive casualness.

“Thanks, Wade. I mean it.” Not even close to casual.

Wade scoffed. “Yeah, whatever.”

An uncomfortable silence grew in the car. And the heat was absolutely insufferable so Wade tore his mask off, any sensation of suffocation never failing to remind him of the worst torture he had been inflicted at the hands of Weapon-X.

He set the air conditioning to the maximum with shaky fingers.

“Listen, about that time at the mansion...” Cable started carefully, glancing at him.

“Oh no, please, we don’t have to talk about it, put some dubstep instead.”

“We do. You wanted to talk back then and you were right.”

Wade frowned at the cyborg. “Was I?”

Cable chuckled. “Yeah. God, you remind me so much of my wife. She always called me out on my bullshit and forced me to talk things through instead of keeping them all inside.”

_Oh. That one again._

“So, you don’t like me for me. I am just her replacement,” Wade muttered.

Cable hit the brakes and the SUV drifted on the sand before coming to a stop. He moved on his seat to face Wade, his left eye glaring. “You dumb fuck, is this really what you think?!” he roared.

Wade opened his mouth but Cable didn’t let him speak.

“Listen: the truth is I like you so much it pisses me off. And I like you for _you_. Since the prison when you protected the kid even though you were dying, since the apartment when you told me you were sorry and shook my hand with tears in your beautiful droopy eyes because I had just told you about my dead family, and since the orphanage when you sacrificed yourself for a kid I had judged irredeemable.” His voice broke as he added: “a kid I would have _killed_ without you.”

Wade just stared back at him, dazed. Cable waited patiently for him to process, but the mercenary noticed him fiddle nervously with the wheel.

He wondered how such a gruff, macho-looking man could express his feelings so unabashedly. Maybe the writing wasn’t so lazy, after all.

“You think I have droopy eyes?”

Cable burst out laughing. The first time Wade ever heard him actually laugh and he hoped there would be many more because that sound? Wham! worthy.

“I said _beautiful_ droopy eyes, stupid.”

“Yeah, I keep thinking you should have your vision checked. Maybe that shiny eye of yours doesn’t work right.”

Cable cupped Wade’s face in his hands, warmer than the sun. Sun that was currently shining through the windshield, making the greenish gray in the cyborg’s irises stand out. The intensity of his stare almost made Wade look down.

“You see your scars and tumors as flaws, while I see them as your victories. Victories over fights you fight every fucking day, because you’re _that_ brave.”

The mercenary felt his chest tighten and his cheeks burn. He swallowed and blinked several times to chase the tears away.

“Zip it or I’ll suck your geriatric dick!” he yelled in a strangled voice.

_Did we just say that?_

Cable raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Shouldn’t it be the other way around if you wanna shut me up?”

_Fuck him and his logic. Wait, I have an idea!_

“Not if I do that,” Wade said wickedly as he gagged Cable with his blue scarf, muffling the cyborg’s protests into half-formed words and deep growls. He tried to take it off but Wade stopped him, leaving his hands around his.

“Please. Let me.” _I can’t tell you how I feel but I can show you_ , he thought or said aloud, he wasn’t sure anymore.

Cable squinted at him before nodding slowly. Wade leaned over the center console to kiss him eagerly over the scarf, eyes shut hard. He felt like he was simultaneously being torn apart and mended back together.

Reborn.

The cyborg kissed back as well as he could despite the fabric, hands roaming over the mercenary’s back. He put his right foot against the passenger seat and sat back against the door, spreading his legs.

Wade took off his gloves as Cable touched himself through his dark cargo pants while maintaining eye contact, and _holy shit on a stick_ seeing that almost made the mercenary self-combust.

As uncomfortable as it was, he lay across the center compartment so that he could settle between Cable’s thighs and get his half-hard dick out of his pants.

Wade stroked it a few times with a firm twist at the end of each movement, looking up at Cable through his eyelashes; the cyborg grunted and put his flesh hand on the side of Wade’s face, his fingertips grazing his left ear, which sent a shiver down the mercenary’s spine.

Incapable of waiting any longer, Wade swallowed his now fully hard cock in one go, making Cable hiss and claw at his skull. He kept him inside his mouth until his eyes started to water and his vision became blurry.

Then he released his cock with an obscene _pop_ , smiling devilishly. “Gag reflex as absent as my father,” he winked.

Cable mumbled something that sounded like a half-pleasantly surprised, half-exasperated “Jesus.”

Wade grinned and licked the thick vein running on the underside of his cock before taking it back into his mouth, sucking hard. Cable groaned loudly and bit his scarf, struggling to keep his eyes open so that he could watch Wade take him.

The mercenary shifted all of his weight on his left elbow in order to slide a hand under the cyborg’s t-shirt and tug at the gray hair running down from his navel, relishing the salty taste of his cock on his tongue.

After a while, Wade swallowed him again and moaned encouragingly around his shaft when he felt Cable’s stomach flex under his fingers.

Cable warned him but Wade refused to let him go.

The cyborg came right down his throat, head thrown back against the window and nails digging crescent moons into the mercenary’s neck.

Only then did Wade release him and push himself back up.

The cyborg looked absolutely undone, panting heavily, his hair disheveled and his face covered with a sheen of sweat.

“Verdict?” the mercenary teased, already knowing the answer.

Cable removed his scarf and kissed him hard on his spit-slick lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, ok, sorry (not sorry) about the scarf, but I've been having dirty thoughts about it ever since I watched the movie XD
> 
> I don't know if there will be another chapter... I have so many ideas I'd like to write but idk how, when, why. No I know the why. But this would make a good ending, don't you think? For now I'll leave this story as "incomplete", and we'll see what the future holds ;)
> 
>  **Credits:**  
>  1) The “rotisserie-chicken style” is from a tag of someone on tumblr (I don’t remember who) to describe Captain America’s fight move in Age of Ultron, which is quite similar to Deadpool’s signature move (just watch the highway fight scene in DP1 if you don't see what I mean)  
> 2) The “geriatric dick” is from cabledrool on tumblr, thanks for letting me use it, pal!  
> 3) The “gag reflex as absent as my father” is from a famous tinder profile.  
> 4) All the other, lesser funny stuff is by me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late update, I had finals to study for :-/
> 
> I’ve had the honor of having this chapter beta’d by the best Cablepool writer out there, [Quak3y](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quak3y). Check out all of their fics, they write the best porn!!
> 
> Chapter inspired by the bittersweet song “[Dancing With Tears In My Eyes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWvPMxsDb_s)” by Ultravox. The chorus lyrics match movie!Wade and movie!Cable so well. Imo? Whatever.

Cable was finally drifting off to sleep in the shitty motel queen-size bed he was sharing with Wade when he heard the mercenary gasp behind him, startling him awake.

“I _am_ the dubstep! It was a metaphor because I never die either!” he exclaimed more than he whispered.

_Fuck’s sake._

“Wade, I’m begging you, it’s 3 a.m. Sleep. _Now_.”

He felt the mattress shift and the mercenary hesitate. He didn’t need telepathy to know something was troubling him.

“How do I know that you won’t push me away in the morning again? I don’t think my poor heart could take it... _again,_ ” Wade lamented dramatically.

Cable groaned in agony and rolled to face Wade, wincing when a spring poked him in the stomach. This was the most uncomfortable mattress he had ever slept on, to the point that it made him miss the even and reassuring hardness of the bare ground.

He could see Wade perfectly clear in the night, thanks to his left eye; he was lying on his back and staring at the cracked ceiling, hands twisting restlessly over his belly.

Underneath the act he never dropped was a genuine concern.

Cable stroked his scarred face with his flesh hand and tried not to dwell too much on the way Wade flinched at first. Deep down, he knew it had everything to do with why he had been so adamant to protect Russell.

He felt his chest and his fists tighten; love and rage intertwined.

“I won’t. Promise. And I’m sorry I made you feel rejected, back at the mansion, I didn’t mean to. I was… lost and… hurting... I didn’t take your feelings into consideration.”

A soft smile curled Wade’s lips.

“It’s okay, my beloved man named after wire. You had just been stranded in another timeline for and with a clingy motormouth. I know I can be overwhelming.”

Cable snorted. “That’s an understatement. And Cable’s not my real name.”

Wade turned fast to look at – or, more accurately, in the direction of – Cable but misjudged the width of the bed, so his forehead collided with the cyborg’s. “Say whaaaat?!”

“You heard me,” Cable-not-Cable grumbled as he massaged his brow. Wade didn’t even seem to have noticed the impact, enthralled as he was by his revelation.

“What is it, then?! No, don’t tell me, I know! It’s “Priscilla”!”

“… Why on Earth would I bear a woman’s name?”

“Tss tss tss, racist _and_ sexist.”

Cable rolled his eyes so hard he almost went blind. “My real name’s Nathan Summers,” he sighed, now the one lying on his back.

Wade got uncharacteristically silent before he repeated the last name under his breath, trying to connect it to a distant memory. The cyborg waited anxiously; he knew he was going to regret telling him about it.

“Summers… Summers… _Wait_ , as in _Scott_ Summers?! Holy cow on cocaine! This is the true reason why you won’t stay at the mansion: you’re scared of bumping into _Daddy_!”

Cable snarled in disgust. “Don’t ever call him that again. Ever.”

“ _Wow_. How did I _not_ guess that?! You both share the same stick up your ass! Ok, that came out wrong.”

“I will strangle you.”

“What I meant is: you’re both too serious for your own good. And you have the glowing eye thing going on. Jeez, does that mean your mom is Jean Grey?! I never imagined they would end up together, not with the way she lusts after Logan– I’m not blaming her, who could, really…”

“She’s not. Not completely.” Cable rubbed his face. His life was… complicated to say the least.

Wade ignored his answer for the third time in a row and snuggled up against him, an arm slung over the older man’s broad torso, the other tucked between them.

“ _Nathan_ ,” he whispered into the cyborg’s ear.

The bearer of this name shivered.

“I like it. But I prefer “Priscilla”.”

Nathan chuckled. He put his metal arm around Wade’s waist and started drawing idle patterns on the textured skin with his fingertips, lost in thought.

Thought he was pulled away from when he felt what was definitely a hard-on rub tentatively against his hip.

“Are you dry-humping me?”

Wade stopped. “No?” he lied.

“Jesus, we had sex an hour ago. You came twice.”

“You know what they say, third time’s the charm.”

Nathan sighed again. He decided to fight the urge to close his eyes and pass out from exhaustion so he could watch Wade instead.

It scared him, how incapable he was of refusing the mercenary anything.

“If it’ll make you sleep, go ahead.”

Wade moaned and started rutting in earnest, his cock dragging along the love handle that still had the bruises he’d made earlier from gripping it. Nathan just watched with half-closed eyes, curious and slightly amused.

After a short silence disturbed only by Wade’s shallow breathing, the cyborg’s voice rumbled in the dark, thick and low. “I wonder if you can really come from that alone, just my words in your ears and no hands on your dick, like a desperate teenager humping his pillow… Can you come for me?”

Wade whimpered and his eyelids fluttered shut. “ _Fuck_ , Nate, dirty talk looks good on you.”

Nathan smiled, smug. And ignored the tingle of pain in his heart because his wife used to call him “Nate” too.

“I bet you couldn’t keep your hands off your cock, your fingers out of your ass. Bet you still can’t. _Know_ you still can’t.”

“Shit!” huffed Wade, rolling his hips faster. “Don’t stop!”

Nathan happily obliged. Precum smeared his skin. “Those past three weeks, did you think about me while you were jerking off? I did. I thought about you fucking me.” He grabbed Wade’s left buttock and dug his metal fingers hard into it. “About me filling up this tight ass of yours with my cum then locking it all in with a plug.”

“Fuck!” Wade cried as he spilled on Nathan’s belly, his rhythm faltering. The cyborg would have gotten hard from the feeling of the mercenary’s hot seed pooling in his navel, if he had any stamina left. His dick still twitched with interest.

As soon as he was done riding his high, Wade grasped Nathan’s jaw and patted his cheek sloppily. “You should use this more during sex. And by “more” I mean “all. the. fucking. time”.”

Nathan laughed. “Noted.”

“Hope you enjoyed the show, by the way,” Wade said over his shoulder as he turned the lights on and got up to grab a towel from the bathroom. “Your eye shines like a _beacon_. Voyeur probably isn’t the most suitable career for you.”

“I did,” Nathan admitted unabashedly with a lazy grin. “I love watching you, you should know that by now.”

“Knowing and understanding are two very different things,” Wade replied somberly as he wiped the cyborg’s stomach clean.

Nathan reached up to cup his face in his hands, gently, but with enough strength to make him meet his gaze. He waited long enough for the mercenary to start squirming before he said, in the most convincing way possible:

“Handsome.”

Wade blushed furiously and slapped him with the dirty towel.

* * *

An hour before sunrise, Nathan was awoken by the sound of Wade crying.

The mercenary was lying curled up with his back to him and his shoulders were jolting with every muffled sob that passed the barrier of his lips.

“Wade, what’s wrong?” Nathan asked, carefully placing his flesh hand on Wade’s arm.

Wade sniffled and struggled for a while before he managed to answer in a croaky voice.

“I- I dreamed of Ness.”

The cyborg’s brow furrowed with sadness. He often dreamed of his family too. Of being too late and discovering two black skeletons among the ashes of his home.

Sometimes he was there just to watch them burn.

Powerless.

“We were gonna start a family.” Wade let out a sharp, joyless laughter. “And I got her killed!”

Nathan didn’t know what to say. He doubted words could even relieve this kind of pain but he tried anyway. “I know you won’t believe me because I don’t believe anyone who tells me so either, but it wasn’t your fault.”

Wade made a faint, high-pitched noise and clawed at his own head until it bled.

“Shit, Wade, stop! Please, stop,” Nathan said as he firmly held Wade’s wrists to keep him from hurting himself. “She wouldn’t want you to suffer. _I_ don’t want you to suffer.”

The mercenary wailed like a dog but he stopped trying to break free of Nathan’s grip.

The cyborg pressed himself against his back, still holding his hands, just in case, and kissed the base of his neck. He had never seen Wade so vulnerable, so… broken. And without the humor to cover it up, he could feel exactly how deep his sorrow ran.

“It will get better. The pain will never go away but you’ll learn to live with it. It will grow to be a part of you. Like a shadow, it will follow you everywhere. But time will make it lighter.”

He projected his thoughts into Wade’s mind, maintaining the channel one-sided, or he was sure to be crushed under the weight of Wade’s grief, and tried something.

_“Breathe in.”_

After a few seconds of confusion, the mercenary did, shakily.

_“One, two, three, four, hold it.”_

Wade held his breath and his ribcage stilled.

_“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, breathe out. You’re doing great, let it all out.”_

Nathan felt Wade’s back muscles relax against his chest as he breathed out.

_“That’s it, baby… four, five, six, seven, eight. Let’s start over.”_

He kept guiding him like that until the mercenary’s last tears had dried on his cheeks and his breathing was back to normal. Only then did he release his forearms and hug his waist instead.

A few moments later, just when he thought the crisis was over, Wade trembled again in his arms. Nathan propped himself up on his left elbow to look at Wade’s face, nervous; if his trick hadn’t worked, he was all out of ideas.

But Wade was in fact giggling quietly, the corner of his eye wrinkled.

“What is it?”

“You’re too short to be the big spoon, Brolin.”

Nathan let his head fall back on the pillow and laughed in relief.

* * *

Another state, another shady motel, another sweet postcoital cuddling session.

They were both lying in bed and listening to the rain fall outside, Wade sprawled on Nathan. This time they had left the lights on, for the sake of equality. Not everyone had night vision as a mutation.

Wade lazily ran his index finger along the prominent veins on Nathan’s right arm, from the wrist all the way up to the shoulder. “Love these little life juice canals.”

The cyborg teased him. “I think they’re called “veins”.”

“Yeah, those.”

Nathan smiled. Wade’s body was so warm against his that he felt like they were melting into each other, becoming one. He hadn’t felt this good in a while. And judging by Wade’s unusual stillness, he wasn’t the only one.

To his great regret however, the mercenary eventually got off of him and studied the imprints that the wires had left on his mottled skin. “You never told me how you got your metal arm. Prosthetic?”

“No, it’s a virus. Techno-organic.” He kept the fact that it was slowly devouring him alive to himself. Wade didn’t need to worry about him.

“ _Please_ , tell me it’s sexually transmittable.”

“It’s not, you sick fuck.”

“Shame. It would have been the coolest STD _ever_.”

“I can’t believe I love you,” Nathan sighed.

Wade’s whole face lit up. But he didn’t say it back. He never did.

Nathan didn’t care, he knew he had his own, weird ways of expressing his feelings, like blowing him in a stolen car in the middle of a pursuit involving the US army.

Suddenly Wade’s cellphone blared the chorus of Boney M’s Rasputin, making both of them jump.

The mercenary groaned and crawled to the edge of the bed to answer the call.

“What can I do for Russia’s greatest love machine?” he asked begrudgingly, playing with the wires on the cyborg’s left pec. “Can you feel that?” he mouthed to Nathan, who shook his head.

The mercenary’s fingers trailed down the big plates of metal covering his forearm as he said “I’m, huh… I’m on holiday.” A pause. Then he smiled wickedly, looking Nathan right in the eye. “He did what? No, I haven’t seen the old grump in a month.”

The cyborg bit Wade’s neck as revenge and he yelped. “Nothing, I stubbed my toe on a table, go on,” Wade explained to his interlocutor, trying not to laugh as Nathan climbed on his back to nibble his ear not covered by the phone.

Wade’s smile faded. “Tomorrow?!”

Nathan stopped biting his ear lobe and stared, alarmed by the change in his tone.

“No, stupid tin can, I’ll be there. But, huh, I’m currently in Kansas so if you could give me a lift with the X-Jet… I _just_ told you I was on holiday, why do you never listen to me?! Yes, believe it or not there are things to see in Kansas!” He pursed his lips. “Yeah, I’ll send you the coordinates first thing tomorrow morning.”

Waded cracked a fake smile and sang “love you, byyye!” before he hung up, just to make the cyborg jealous. But he didn’t seem jealous at all, just… worried.

_Of fucking course._

“It’s Russell’s birthday tomorrow and he wants me to be here. I want me to be here too. Colossus will pick me up at 9,” he told Nathan after he had tossed his phone on the bedside table.

From the corner of his eye, he saw the cyborg nod and the tension in his shoulders disappear.

“Fine.”

“Are you serious?! Nothing’s fine! I thought our delicious Bonnie-and-Clyde-with-Brokeback-Mountain-undertones escapade would last longer,” Wade pouted.

Nathan lay down and pulled him into his arms until he was sprawled on his torso again. “This isn’t a goodbye,” he said, stroking his back soothingly. “I’ll get a phone and call you every day.”

The heat in Wade’s chest flared almost painfully at these words. He hugged Nathan tight. Maybe phone sex would keep him from going nuts. Nutsier than he already was, he meant.

Wade could hear the cyborg’s steady heartbeats from this position and for a few blessed minutes, he managed to focus on them hard enough that every voice in his head screaming that he didn’t deserve any of this shut up.

“Alright?” Nathan asked, concerned by Wade’s silence.

“Yeah, alright.”

Wade jumped off of Nathan without warning and clapped his hands. “Come on, get dressed, grandpa, we’re going to the strip club!”

Nathan blinked. Trying to follow the mercenary’s train of thoughts was like following a hare. “The what?”

“Strip club, a place of iniquity where you _strip_ , as its name suggests. Well, not _you_. But the hot girls or guys who work there. Seriously, you’ve never gone to one?!”

“Guess I was too busy trying to win a war.”

“Mmh, you’re so sexy when you talk about war.”

Nathan rolled his eyes.

* * *

They walked into a strip club that was conveniently close to the motel and took a seat in front of the main stage, where a young brunette was swaying her hips, dressed like a cowgirl. She winked at Nathan as they sat down, but eyed Wade warily.

Understandable, since he was in his red suit, mask and all. Yeah, he had totally forgotten his stuff in the Kawasaki. Shit happens.

Wade ordered two beers and started ranting about the drug and prostitution problems often tied to this field of activity. Nathan could barely hear him over the deafening music. And to be honest, he wasn’t trying that much; the girl had just taken her bra off and thrown it at him. He caught the piece of clothing in mid-air and kept watching her dance, feeling both uncomfortable and mesmerized.

“Okay, that does it!” Wade muttered angrily before he raised a hundred dollar bill in the air and whistled at the girl.

The stripper’s hesitation to come off the stage disappeared as soon as she saw the numbers. She came towards Wade and leaned on him so he could whisper something into her ear. Nathan frowned.

The girl shook her head and pointed at someone or something in the back. Wade gently took her hands in his own, as if he were trying to reassure her. She finally seemed to agree to whatever he was proposing, and Wade stood up to follow her backstage.

“Sit tight, I’ve got a surprise for you, big guy,” he told Nathan before he disappeared.

Nathan didn’t know what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn’t to see Wade five minutes later, still in the suit, but with a blonde wig and red high heels, walk perfectly down the catwalk.

He choked on his beer and placed it on the table, next to the girl’s bra. While he was still recovering from his coughing fit, Wade held the vertical rod in the center of the stage and swung around it gracefully.

The fake blonde hair spread around his masked face like a halo.

Some regulars booed on Nathan’s left, only to stop abruptly as soon as he and Wade pointed a gun at them in unison.

“This is a farewell party, so goddamn appreciate it in _silence_ or leave!” the mercenary shouted. Terrified, the men raised their hands and apologized. They scurried out of the strip club like rats.

 “So, where were we? Ah sí.” Wade gestured at the DJ with his gun, in a way that was both a signal and a threat, and a strange song began to play.

Violin, followed by a feminine voice and electronic stutters.

He put the weapon back in his holster, as Nathan did, and hooked a leg on the pole, slowly rotating around it, as Nathan did not.

Then he let his hands run over his stomach all the way up to his chest and threw his head back.

Nathan certainly wasn’t the best person to judge these skills, but he danced surprisingly well.

And _dirty_. Although that part wasn’t surprising.

_You know that I love you boy_

_Hot like Mexico, rejoice_

_At this point I gotta choose_

_Nothing to lose_

The mercenary bent seductively on the edge of the scene, ass turned to Nathan and squeezed by the spandex in all the right places.

The cyborg clenched his teeth.

_Don't call my name_

_Don't call my name, Alejandro_

_I'm not your babe_

_I'm not your babe, Fernando_

Wade straightened up and pranced back to the pole to the rhythm of the song, before he jumped up and crossed his legs around it.

_Don't wanna kiss, don't wanna touch_

_Just smoke my cigarette and hush_

_Don't call my name_

_Don't call my name, Roberto_

He hung upside down, holding himself only by the strength of his thighs, and ran a hand through his artificial blonde hair. All while never breaking eye contact with Nathan, who barely remembered to close his mouth.

_Alejandro, Alejandro_

_Ale-ale-jandro, Ale-ale-jandro_

Wade somersaulted off the pole and landed easily on his stripper heels as if it were the thousandth time he had performed this stunt. And maybe it was.

The mercenary was full of surprises and Nathan wished to uncover them all, even if took him the rest of his life.

_Alejandro, Alejandro_

_Ale-ale-jandro, Ale-ale-jandro_

Wade walked to him, sinfully swaying his hips with each step. He slid off the stage like a snake and straddled Nathan.

  _Stop, please,_

_Just let me go, Alejandro,_

_Just let me go_

The mercenary glanced between them and laughed. “Is that a gun in your pants or did my modest show wake Anaconda McSteel?”

“You,” Nathan grunted in response, unable to say more with the way Wade was now grinding on his cock through their clothes.

The cyborg vaguely heard the DJ think about calling the cops as he saw him reach for his phone, crouching behind the bar. The girls were looking at them from the back of the room, squeezed together.

“Let’s head back to the motel,” Nathan said, grasping the mercenary’s oh so narrow waist to get him off of him.

“Oooh, believe me, I can’t wait for you to bend me over the couch and fuck me while we watch the Golden Girls DVD I stole at the gas station, but the song isn’t over yet.”

Nathan hadn’t even noticed; he could only hear the blood rushing in his ears and the urgent, overwhelming sound of _want_. Want he knew exactly how to use to get Wade to cooperate before the police burst into the strip club.

He grabbed Wade’s neck with his metal hand and stared at the white eyes of his mask, growling. “I want to fuck you till sunrise and leave you gaping for Colossus’ arrival.”

He tilted his head cockily. “Who knows… Maybe he’ll slide right into your sloppy hole when he sees the dirty _cunt_ you are.”

Wade froze.

Then he swallowed so hard Nathan saw his Adam’s apple bob under the mask.

“The last one to the car is a loser!” he yelled as he sprinted towards the exit, throwing his wig away but keeping the heels on.

Nathan smirked and ran after him.

The police siren was blaring in the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter, guys. I’m so sad to let these two saps go but I need to. I probably lost a lot of readers already. Maybe too much sap. Not enough smut. Or the other way around, Idk. 
> 
> Anyway, this was a purely self-indulged chapter but I hope you liked it still! I just want to say that I had the greatest time writing this fic and reading your thoughts on it so thanks a lot for following me throughout this journey! Love you all, bye!
> 
> I’m on [tumblr](http://vickystrife.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> PS:  
> \- The “little life juice canals” was a thing I actually told my friend irl when I couldn’t remember the word for “veins”. What my brain comes with at 2 a.m, Isw2g...  
> \- I have nothing against Kansas.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have been able to read this fic in Ryan Reynold's voice then my work here is done. 
> 
> Hope I made you grin at least once :)
> 
> English is not my first language (I speak French) so please tell me if you found anything weird or wrong ♥


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